Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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