Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
