i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
