Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
it hurts more in the daytime
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
