I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It was confusing and full of hummus
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
