They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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