Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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