Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
a search helicopter?!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize
