other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
