the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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