3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
