We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize