why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
