Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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