Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
