I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
