from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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