smell my finger.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
