His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
you're hired as official boob wrangler
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
