God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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