i just wanna soil my oats bro
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
