You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize