from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
