Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
