Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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