my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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