I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I need moral support for this bender
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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