the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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