i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
