It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Randomize
