Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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