porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just high enough for therapy.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
