Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
