Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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