We won't sleep together?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
