Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry thesexycrab hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.

Fav 11 910 1777
share tweet
(925): View more from California

"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.

Fav 23 1806 1617
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(586): View more from Michigan

Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.

Fav 13 917 3991
share tweet
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.

Fav 37 11180 1819
share tweet
(502): View more from Kentucky

We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.

Fav 4 1198 3747
share tweet
(404): View more from Georgia

considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.

Fav 14 1646 3466
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(760): View more from California

I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.

Fav 6 1564 910
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(506): View more from New Brunswick

We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.

Fav 0 613 394
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.

Fav 0 23 70
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT