fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
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He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
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pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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