I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
