I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Who put my cat in the fridge?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
