I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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