I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
