i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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