dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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