im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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