i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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