I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
