some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
