would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
