I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
