You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
