trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
