what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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