he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize