Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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