WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
