i think my tv is drunk
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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