how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize