How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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