hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
